I (Heart) the '80s!

Like, this week has been totally awesome! 2 cool! If mirrors didn’t insist on reflecting my true age, I’d swear to you I’m only 15 right now. Here’s why....

My week began with some serious roller-skating. And I skated with a boy! And he told me he loved me, like, three times! OK, so said boy was my five-year-old son, but still, he was really cute and his hands were soft and not at all sweaty.

This was actually my second roller-skating excursion in as many weeks. But before then, I’d only hit the rink once or twice since my skating heyday in ’85. So when I rolled out onto that wooden floor in my too-tight skates, it was like gliding back in time. The smells of feet and grease ... the cinderblock walls accented with neon solar-system-patterned carpet … the cocky rink “refs” with their whistles and black-and-white-striped shirts.

Even the sounds were straight outta the latter part of the 1980s. Tone Loc and Young MC turned up on the hi-fi, and Cameo made, well, a cameo. WORD UP, man!

While I scuttled around in circles (valiantly helping my kids fend off the forces of gravity), I rubbernecked at several other “adults” who must’ve also hit rewind on the last two decades. First there was the balding dad in jeans (it was dark, but I think they were acid-washed with front pleats!), who exhibited perfect right-leg-over-left moves as he rounded the corners. He was not to be outdone by the spiky-haired mom who would periodically shift her weight back on her right leg while lifting her left toe to smoothly coast. Soooooo cool.

Then what happens the very next night, but it turns out to be ’80s week on “American Idol,” and I get to go back to my favorite decade again! True, I was disappointed not to hear anyone attempt Duran Duran or Eurythmics or Depeche Mode, but Luke Menard thoughtfully brought Wham! into my living room. I had that song on 45 (45!) and I once possessed a “Choose LIFE” T-shirt just like the one George Michael wore in the video! Weird wild stuff.

The boys’ performances (sigh) made me half-wish I still had a locker, so I could clip pics of Jason Castro, David Cook and Michael Johns out of my Tiger Beat and tape ’em up right next to C. Thomas Howell and the guy who played Jake in Sixteen Candles.

Of course, to fully relive the 1980s, I’d also need to starve myself down to a bony 90 pounds, get a really bad Ogilvie home perm and share both my clothes and my bedroom with my sister. Gag me with a spoon ….